Life's Funny Experiences

Deep and Dark

We were on a cross-Canada camping trip with a hard-top tent trailer back in '75. It was after dark one day when we reached a campground, and my four year old daughter really had to 'go'. Heidi's six year old brother, Jon, and I went to the nearest outhouse, gave her a flashlight and waited outside. She soon came out and said that the hole was "dark and deep." Jon quickly replied, "don't worry, Heidi, if you fall in I'll pull you out!" Dave Ward Centreville, NS

Lost in Toronto

My friend, Ray, told me that when he was living in Toronto, his niece visited from Daniel's Harbour. She went out exploring, and got lost in Toronto. She found a telephone booth (this was before cell phones) on the sidewalk, and called her uncle. He said: "Where are you?" She replied, "I don't really know. All I see is big buildings." He said: "Look at the signs on the street corners and tell me where you are." After a moment of hesitation, she said: "I am at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK." Orville Cole Dartmouth, NS

Uncle Sol

In 1933, when my dad was the local clergyman in a fishing village in Green Bay, he was told about "Uncle Sol," a man who had "died" ten years before. In those days there were no doctors in the area and when someone died the locals waited three days then buried the body. The funeral procession was on the way to the cemetery. As they approached the fence, one of the pallbearers stumbled, and the casket hit the fence post. Immediately, a knocking noise was heard from the inside. They laid the casket on the ground, and opened it - sure enough, Uncle Sol was alive! So they helped him out and they all went home. Ten years later, when my dad was there, Uncle Sol really died, and my dad was responsible for the funeral. As they approached the cemetery gate, the widow turned to the pallbearers, and said: "Now boys, don't hit the gate post this time!" - Orville Cole Dartmouth, NS

Now you see 'em...

In the summer of 2021 I took my then 5 year old grandson Jaxon to the Salmonier Nature Park. He was so excited to show me all the animals because he knew every one. We got out of the car and proceeded to the trail when he says. "Nan, I know the first animal we are going to see is the snowy owl!" Now about three weeks before this the snowy owl passed away so the enclosure was empty. Jaxon saw the sign and asked me what it said. I told him the snowy owl passed away and he is not in the park anymore. Jaxon just shrugged his shoulders said, "Oh!" and skipped down the trail to the next enclosure commenting on the animal inside. We made our way up to the hawk's enclosure where we could not see the hawk anywhere. Jaxon looks around and said, "Nan, he must have passed out too!" Gerri Fleming Deer Park, Holyrood, NL

Car Trouble

When my little granddaughter was 3 years old, my sister lived in Halifax, NS and I lived in Ontario. My sister came to visit my son and his wife who lived on a farm. One evening they came to visit. In those days, we all had big cars. On the way in to our yard, my daughter-in-law said to my son, 'see, aunt Vi has herself a little pisspot of a car.' When they got inside the house, little 3 year old informed aunt Vi that mommy said she is driving a pisspot. Oh dear, how embarrassing that was. Beatrice Gilmour Carleton Place, ON

Nailed It

My brother was helping a friend with some construction around his house. He was using a large framing nailer and he missed the stud and shot the nail about two inches into his wrist. He went to the emergency department at the hospital. He registered then was told to take a seat. A couple hours later a nurse came to get him. He was walking around the waiting room and the nurse said to him, "Why are you out here walking around with that nail in your wrist?" and he said, "Well ma'am, it's not in my foot." Wilson Harvey

what day is this?

A few years ago my then 3 year old grandson was doing his bathroom business. Frantic call - I need help. when i get there he needs help with the wipe. I said aren't you old enough to wipe yourself? He answers with 'What Day Is This?' I said, 'Friday.' He replies 'Ohh I don't wipe my bum on Fridays.'

WRONG BUTTON

upon crossing the Halifax Bridge to Dartmouth I could not get my bridge pass to work. Finally , I noticed I was using my GARAGE OPENER button. ( shame on me )

Sticky situation

Years ago my mom was at the midwife having one of my siblings. Dad was taking care of us children and my grandmother was there also. I was awake all night with cramps in my legs. I got out of bed and went to my parents room like I did so many times for my mom to rub my legs with Electric oil. In my Dad's half sleep mode he reached for the bottle of Electric oil in the headboard where they kept all medications. He rubbed my legs and I went back to bed and slept all night with my sister and my grandmother. Next morning when I got up to go to school. I was stuck to my sister and my grandmother and the flannelette sheets. My dad took the wrong bottle and rubbed my legs with Jack and Jill cough syrup. We still at this story from years ago. PS. It really did help my leg cramps.

Finger Licking Good

When I was a boy in the mid 1900's, rolls of felt were commonly found in stores. It arrived to store owners with a can of tar inside each roll. Some store owners stacked the cans on a shelf next to other goods. Two local boys decided to rob what they thought was a can of beans. When they opened the can in the cove behind the store, they realized that the molasses looked a little dark and gave it the taste test. -Ernest Warren

Make a Deposit

I was standing at Walmart parking lot a few days ago, talking with a friend whose car was parked next to mine. He turned to look at my car, then he said, "Are you selling your car?" I replied "Maybe, if I get the right price. Why?" Then he said, "I thought you might sell. That crow on the lamp post just made a deposit on it!" Orville Cole Dartmouth,NS

Soup Story

70 years ago my dad and his friend, Will, stopped at noon at a cafe/restaurant in a small community. They asked what kind of soup they had. Will ordered chicken soup, and the waitress hollered to the cook: "One chicken soup." Dad ordered pea soup, so she hollered: "One pea soup." Will said, "I think I will have pea soup too," so the waitress hollered "Hold the chicken and make it pea!" Orville Cole Dartmouth, NS

This really happened

Years ago, my two uncles and aunts left to go somewhere. They lived in a remote town and had a store, so they told my four young cousins to have anything in the store but don't eat the small chocolate bars. Being curious, my cousins ate some small chocolates called Exlax, not Jersey Milk. Well, in a short time they kept running to the outhouse and as the saying goes in Newfoundland, the door was left open. The moral of the story is don't eat Exlax bars, and listen to your parents. Veronica Lunn Grande Prairie, AB

Frozen Fish

My grandson, Jesse Rice, was visiting Newfoundland and Labrador on his summer holidays. I took him to Keith's Diner for their delicious fish and chips. The waitress came to our table, and we both ordered a two-piece. The waitress said, "We only have frozen fish today." Jesse said, "Can you please thaw mine out before you serve it to me?" Rosie Cook St. Mary's, NL

Funny Medicine

My husband had a sore throat and cough for three whole days. So on Saturday we went out to a dance and came home late after having a few beers. He was still coughing a lot. We went to bed and at 3:45 he woke coughing so hard he almost threw up. He said, "you gotta give me something for this cough." So, half asleep, I got up, went to the fridge, and got him some Mason's '49 cough syrup. Well, it did the job. Stopped his cough and he slept until 8:00 in the morning. When I got up, I went to put the cough medicine back in the fridge. Marked on the bottle was Vanilla Extract. Took the wrong bottle by mistake, but it worked! Vera Mullins Harbour Breton, NL

Birthday Helper

My daughter and I were attending a birthday party for an older gentleman friend. She was about five at the time and when it came time to open the presents/ cards she was front and centre passing him the gifts. It was very quiet in the hall and I could see her looking at each card she was passing him. I didn't clue in to what she was doing until she said loudly "Open this one next Lewis, feels like it got money in it!" The hall erupted in laughter and I turned quite red. Bonnie Goguen Kingston, ON.

The NL accent can sure be tricky...

Well my boyfriend has completed the Licensed Practical Nursing Program in the Bay. St George area some months back. During his clinical training at the hospital, one patient was larger and had a loud cough that could be heard throughout the hallway. One of these coughs happened while the students were doing their final rounds of the day with a RN. She just smiled, "Oh, sure that's just the gentleman over in room 206. He's loud but harmless." The next morning my boyfriend noticed one student from outside of the province had came in with a large basket filled with gift cards and all sorts of other goodies. Their instructor noticed and asked what it was for. She just smiled, "Oh, this is for the main in 206 with no arms, poor guy." My boyfriend then realized the confusion. He laughed, "The nurse yesterday had an accent. She told us that man was HARMless, not ARMless!" We do tend to drop that H a lot, don't we? I had quite a laugh when he told me that story. Trevor C Western NL

hot or cold?

When our youngest son Blake took very ill I took him to the doctor. While waiting, the nurse took us to a room where she gave him a paper cup and said "Go in the bathroom and fill it for me." While she and I were chatting, we heard a yell - "What do you want, hot or cold?" We both lost it! A great memory I will always have. He is now 55 years old. Joan (Prior) Gilks Lower Sackville, NS