When I was teaching in a small Northern community, one day I was chatting with the local merchant, who told me about one of the men in the community.
I'll call him "Harry", so as not to implicate anyone. The conversation went like this:
Harry: Good marnin', sir.
Storekeeper: Good morning, Harry. What can I do for you today?
Harry; Well, sir, me wife is havin a birthday dis week, and I wants to get her a new dress.
Storekeeper: That's fine. We have a good selection of dresses here. What size do you want?
Harry: Don't matter none. Just give me whatever you t'inks is good.
Storekeeper. What colour would you like?
Harry: 'Tidden no odds. You knows as well as I do dat whatever I gets, she will bring it back anyway. So just give me any'ting a'tall.
The storekeeper obliged, chose a dress, wrapped, and Harry paid for it and left quite contented.
The following week, his wife came to the store; returned the dress, and chose one she liked.