Reveal the hilarious things that have happened in your life, and let us all have a chuckle with you!
"one day a friend of the family agreed to help cook sunday dinner. she wanted to make some peese pudding. she looked in the cupboard to get the necessary ingredient and started cooking. when all of a sudden, there was popping. when she looked, what she used for her pudding was popcorn kernels. now when we have sunday dinner, we will ask if there will be any peese ""pop"" pudding."
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nurse at hospital
"not too long ago i had to go to the hospital emergency room, and the nurse that was checking my vitals asked me "" mrs adams, have you had your macdonalds today"" i said "" you must be hungry are you""? what a laugh we had when she realized whatshe had asked me.she meant to ask about my mecication."
Marion Adams Marystown
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'REMEMBER YOUR HELMET' "'remember your helmet' i am a newfoundlander, a member of an elite group. on this big rocky island in the north atlantic called 'newfoundland and labrador' there are half a million of us, and we are all members of the newfoundland and labrador fraternity. our favorite cuisine is salty, and our beer is the best ever made. for those who do not know our culture some ways of the newfoundla- ys of the newfoundlander are ... click to read more"'remember your helmet' i am a newfoundlander, a member of an elite group. on this big rocky island in the north atlantic called 'newfoundland and labrador' there are half a million of us, and we are all members of the newfoundland and labrador fraternity. our favorite cuisine is salty, and our beer is the best ever made. for those who do not know our culture some ways of the newfoundla- ys of the newfoundlander are as hard to understand as the diverse dialects that abound on the island. talented musicians, artists, writers, theater groups, and quick witted, resourceful, practical people make up our culture. this practicality was necessary for two middle-aged men when they were stopped by the police while driving their four-wheel all terrain vehicles into their cabin. the policemen checked them on the old woods' road, and told them that they had to wear helmets riding these vehicles.the men agreed to do so and continued on. a week later it was time to leave the cabin and travel home. however, the 'helmet' issue was a problem. what would they do, how could they overcome this police decree and get out to their vehicles on the highway when they had no helmets? so they checked around and found the solution. using what they had available in the cabin they designed their helmets, put them on, started up their four-wheelers and headed to the main road. imagine the surprise of the policeman, who was there again doing his road checks, when he saw those two resourceful individuals driving toward him with one gallon beef buckets on their heads. they had cut holes cut for eyes, and the handle of the bucket was the chin strap. they had created 'designer' helmets. the innovative mind of the newfoundlander came through again! because one thing that is sure, where there is a newfoundlander there is a 'salt beef bucket'! bonnie jarvis-lowe (318 words) firstname.lastname@example.org" ... Hide full submission
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'RETIRED ARE YA?' "'retired are ya?' my husband and i came home to newfoundland to retire, having made the decision to retire early and pursue other interests. being only fifty years old i found it very difficult to say the word 'retire', and avoided it at all costs. i have no idea why-just a foolish quirk!! i guess it conjured up images of much older lifestyles- uch older lifestyles and just plain made me feel redundant and much ... click to read more"'retired are ya?' my husband and i came home to newfoundland to retire, having made the decision to retire early and pursue other interests. being only fifty years old i found it very difficult to say the word 'retire', and avoided it at all costs. i have no idea why-just a foolish quirk!! i guess it conjured up images of much older lifestyles- uch older lifestyles and just plain made me feel redundant and much older than my fifty years. we acquired a boat the second year we were back in newfoundland and we spent a lot of time boating and exploring, fishing and having beach picnics or 'boilups' as they are called here. i loved spending time boating, and spent an extraordinary length of time preparing food and goods, and waiting at the wharf for my husband to bring the boat in off her collar, or buoy. one day i was enjoying the summer sun, the lady was selling strawberries from her truck, and boats were coming and going like the newfoundland of years ago that i love so much. two women appeared, and started a chitchat, the newfoundland style, saying "some day on the bay today!" i agreed. it was wonderful. then my husband appeared with the boat and joined in the conversation with the three of us women. then he turned to me and said, " look at her ring, it's the same school ring as yours!" of course then we realized we were graduates of the same school of nursing. and the 'nurse talk' started as my children used to call it. who was in your class, what floor did you like best, what year did you graduate etc. the nurse i had just met looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked "but you are not working here?" i said no, i was doing other things. "retired are ya?" she asked laughingly, "who else was in your class that's retired by now?" before i had to engage in the 'retired are ya?' question that i hated so much my smart husband spoke up and yelled to her from the boat "the only other one in her class that's retired is john cabots' sister!" we had a great laugh, and once again proved his newfoundland wit was alive and well!! retired are ya indeed! bonnie jarvis-lowe, rn.ret'd" ... Hide full submission
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The Last Time I was Tricked "I am 32 years old, of sound mind and body, and to this day I firmly believed I was tricked. I grew up in rural Nova Scotia. My parents moved there from Newfounland before I born. I have a sister who is four years younger than I. We had a normal upbringing. We did what the average children would do; play sports, listen to music and hang out with friends, the average activities of teenagers. ... click to read more"I am 32 years old, of sound mind and body, and to this day I firmly believed I was tricked. I grew up in rural Nova Scotia. My parents moved there from Newfounland before I born. I have a sister who is four years younger than I. We had a normal upbringing. We did what the average children would do; play sports, listen to music and hang out with friends, the average activities of teenagers. Our parents both had careers, and we grew up in a nice home in a quiet little village, which was across the river from a small town. In the small town there were basically all the amentaties that a person who lived in the country would need; grocery stores, banks, a hospital,doctors, and all the little specialty shops we enjoyed visiting. There was also the grade school and the high school. My sister and I attended the same schools and the high school was close to the mall, a place that as teenagers we visited a lot. This mall also contained the one place that many teenagers despise, the dentist office. We were fortunate to have working parents that had medical and dental plans. They made sure we had whatever we needed; glasses, hospital visits, medicines and the hated visit to the dentist. My sister and I both had our share of dental problems. I look back now and am thankful that my Mom and Dad could afford to pay the dentist to correct the problems and have our teeth cared for because we both now have straight healthy teeth, but that was after I was tricked. Almost everyone knows what itās like to be a teenager. The most awkward years of your life are those teenager years. Hormone changes, growth spurts, zits, and all the time trying to blend in and appear to be normal. God forbid if you stood out in the crowd too much, youād be the object of many a laugh. Remember this was small town N.S. in the mid eighties. Then I was tricked, I stood out, and I got made fun of. One afternoon I was off to the dentist for one of my many yearly visits. The dentistās office was in the mall beside my high school. I had the routine down to an art. Mom would make my appointment and after classes I would walk to the mall have my check up and Mom would pick me up. Same as every other time--until the day I was tricked! I arrived at the dentist office, on time as usual,and told the lady at the desk I was there. She would say ć have a seat weāll be with you soonä. Finally I was called in and prepped for the usual poking and picking and lecture that I have to floss more. The dentist came in and said hi and began his work. I was being picked at longer than usual I thought, but was not overly concerned. After what seemed to be a long time I started to get a little worried as to what was happening in my mouth. Finally he was done and propped me up in the chair and said see you next time, usual thing he always said. I walked out to the waiting area and Mom was there to take me home. As usual she talked to the lady setting up the next appointment while I got my coat. I rubbed my tongue over my teeth and felt something that didnāt belong. As we weāre leaving I told Mom I was going to the bathroom and would be right along. I walked in the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My heart sank. BRACES!!! Why was I not told! Mom never told me, the dentist never told me, nobody told me!! I was tricked! How could I go on? I couldnāt go back to school everyone would make fun of me! But I was sent to school, and off I went. Now at 32 it seems pretty funny.My family and I laugh about this story. Nobody will admit they tricked me and I donāt push the matter. But to be honest everytime I see a dentist now I make quite clear to him that I donāt want braces. John David Lowe Brace Free!! " ... Hide full submission
John David Lowe
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MY FAVORITE RANT STORY "'my favorite rant!' yes, i do go on rants, and darned good long rants from time to time. i don't know who listens or cares but i still rant.let me tell you about my rant of this past winter. i don't care who likes it or doesn't but my hair is totally devoid of color, it is snow white. as a matter of fact my daughter when she saw the photo that is shown with ... click to read more"'my favorite rant!' yes, i do go on rants, and darned good long rants from time to time. i don't know who listens or cares but i still rant.let me tell you about my rant of this past winter. i don't care who likes it or doesn't but my hair is totally devoid of color, it is snow white. as a matter of fact my daughter when she saw the photo that is shown with this rant made the crack that ""you gotta hand it to ya mom, it is a great camouflage in winter!"" that did it! i have listened to stories about hair, hair coloring, questions about why i do not color my hair anymore, why i let my hair go white after coloring it for twenty-five years and every other foolish question that a human can come up with. that does not bother me. i know there are all kinds of products out there and i can have any color hair i want, but i do not want it. can't anybody understand- t anybody understand that??i guess not! my mothers' family had a trait of the men going bald at an early age, my fathers' side has the trait of prematurely grey hair. and at the age of 17 i was going grey. so, i took to coloring my fine long locks, and it was a procedure that took two bottles of hair color because my hair was long and thick. and of course i did not want to be grey as a teenager, or as a young mother, and i worked in an operating room and my head was covered all the time, so finally about five or six years ago i quit the bottle. i wore shorter hair, more becoming, and more convenient for my lifestyle. so i needed only one bottle of color in later years. i was darn sick and tired of spending a fortune to have a hairdresser color my hair, or of me doing it, getting it all over the bathroom and it would not come off the walls if the splatter hit them, and i was too busy fishin' when i came back to newfoundland to sit still for that long so i quit. i had suffered through every color hair in the book, including 'accidental green' or 'streaky purple' and enough was enough. so that was that. my friends grew to like it, i became a grandmother and i write. so white hair and dark frame glasses gave me the tad of eccentricity i wanted.good enough,if you're with me this far i will tell you the final straw regarding this mop of mine. i was sitting at the picnic table on the wharf in shoal harbour, newfoundland, (where i live) waiting to photograph the geese when they honked in, so i was basically just killing time. then an elderly gentleman pulled in beside my car and got out to have a conversation. after a few minutes, he squinted at me through his cigarette smoke and said, ""fine head 'a hair ya got dere!"" i said thank you, and tried to ignore him.i was not in the mood to discuss the pros and cons of lady hair color with him or anyone else!! there was a few minutes of silence, then the old gent walked around to the front of me, leaned over and stared at my mouth. before i could ask what the heck he was doing he came out with the zinger, and this is the truth. he continued to look, squinting over the smoke of the second cigarette, leaned in closer and asked,""ya still got all yer own teeth!!??"" that did it. i marched back to my car with all the self-control i could muster, jumped in and drove away! i could see him staring at me and had the crazy desire to go back and knock him off the wharf, but i managed to keep controlled. now, isn't that something? i was insulted, and really,really angry!!just because i have white hair does not mean i am 90 years old, or that i have a full set of dentures, or wear a medic-alert bracelet. it is only hair for heavens' sake!! ""got all yer own teeth?"" indeed i do mister i thought to myself, and if i gave in to the way i feel right now i would bite your ankles! and you are just lucky you caught me on a good day or you would be over the end of the wharf!! did you ever hear the like of it?? oh, me nerves!! and all over a head of white hair!! your own teeth-indeed!! and that was my winters' rant for this past winter! bonnie jarvis-lowe color free in shoal harbour,newfoundland. " ... Hide full submission
Bonnie Jarvis-Lowe "Here,there and everywhere!"
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you can always tell its a Newfie "several years ago while we (my late husband&i)lived in fla. a lady we knew from brantford ont. came to visit us(before all this terror stuff)as we waited for her to come through the gate i noticed all the people getting off were so serious no expressions at all,i told my husband bet i can pick out a newfie if there is one on the air canada plane,his answer was ""sure you can"" after a few ... click to read more"several years ago while we (my late husband&i)lived in fla. a lady we knew from brantford ont. came to visit us(before all this terror stuff)as we waited for her to come through the gate i noticed all the people getting off were so serious no expressions at all,i told my husband bet i can pick out a newfie if there is one on the air canada plane,his answer was ""sure you can"" after a few dozen more people came through i said theres one he asked how do you know? answer he has a smile from ear to ear,my husband laughed at me until the man passad & on his windbreaker was stitched grand falls nfld> was i right or what. thank you phyllis m shaw an ardent fan of your magazine." ... Hide full submission