Here are all of the submissions 24717 has submitted to DownhomeLife.com
Confessions of a Self-Proclaimed Junk-A-Holic
January of last year I decided to start changing my life and loose weight once and for all thanks to a horrifying result on the Wii Fit. The result was non-existant. I was too heavy to even register. I joined a gym, ... click to read moreJanuary of last year I decided to start changing my life and loose weight once and for all thanks to a horrifying result on the Wii Fit. The result was non-existant. I was too heavy to even register. I joined a gym, threw down the junk and started a Facebook group called "Friends Fighting Fat." The group originated because a good friend of mine who lives in Stephenville was experiencing the same problem I was...wanting to loose the weight, needing the support but no one around her area in her peer group that could fully relate to how she felt. So, seeing how Facebook was predominately how we would communicate, I decided to create a group whereby people going through similar struggles can converse, relate, discuss, share and vent all that they were enduring and embarking upon...thus, how my article writing began. I wrote several articles and posted them in the group so that people could read what I was going through and hopefully relate and help them in some way. "Confessions of a Self-Proclaimed Junk-A-Holic" was the first of these, written January 30, 2009...a 103 lbs ago. It's basically a confessional as to how I got to where I was. The first step is admitting, right?
Confessions of a Self-Proclaimed Junk-A-Holic
Hey everyone!! Well, I guess you're wondering how I got to be this size? I've often wondered the same thing from time to time. Well, the only thing I can tell you is that it didn't happen overnight despite it seeming that as each day began it seemed like my body had magically attached another piece of flab to my already bulky exterior. I was like the chick in Clueless who got a makeover to take her from beast to beauty only the opposite. I was going from beauty to beast or prehaps I should say FEAST. My name is Kerri and I am a junk-a-holic.
I wasn't always this size. I mean, I was big, bigger than most, but in an athletic way, not in a pathetic way. I survived potential years of body hatred from name-calling and teasing by excelling in sports. I found that so long as you have some talent you could overrule the fact that you were an above normal weight individual and somehow walk the halls of a school with some sense of confidence and pride. Sports was my saviour. Not only did I love them and meet lots of friends through them, but they gave me social acceptance all throughout my schooling years.
Although I was larger than most people, going from a swimming pool to a hockey rink to a rugby field, all in one day sometimes, prevented me from becoming massive. I was seriously overactive back then and not to mention younger, therefore, whatever I put in my mouth (when I had time) was always burned off in the matter of hours. This plan of action was working wonderfully I thought until one day my desires to be a junk-a-holic without gaining the weight came to an abrupt end when four little rugby players on the opposite team decided it would be fun to take a ride on the back of my jersey. I was literally running up the field with these four little cheerleader types,so-called rugby players, hanging off my jersey to try and take me down. It was raining earlier that day which left the field a pond of muck and bog. As I was running towards the goal line I only hoped that one of the little "angels" didn't fall off my back and kill themselves because I wasn't stopping until I got that goal. Then it happenend. My feet got planted in a giant mudhole in the field and because of the weight of the four so-called rugby players on my back my legs twisted to the side leaving me with two anterior crucial ligament tears, one in each knee. I couldn't believe it; I had survived an amazing run despite my size up the entire length of the field with the rugby ball in hand, I had survived four little "angels" hanging off my jersey, yet I could not survive that blasted little mudhole. So, that was the end for me. The end of my meal ticket. No longer was I able to play sports therefore, no longer could I gain from the perks of playing the sports, namely, eating junk with no consequences.
As months went by I endured mulitiple knee surgeries, mostly minor ones but one major one and I found myself lost in a world that I had ignored if it didn't have a score board or score clock. I didn't know what to with myself. No sports? It was a nightmare. I was born into sports, sports is what I identified with, sports is what made me who I am, sports I thought, defined all that was Kerri. I found myself supplementing what would normally be game time with a night out with friends that consisted of eating, eating and more eating. This of course, did not go unpunished as slowly but surely my stomach was getting pissed and decided to grow. Because my stomach was growing and I was now deemed "crippled," I had no defense mechanism to go out and burn off the angry calories. Common sense didn't kick in either telling me that hey, maybe you shouldn't eat so much, so often because to me it filled my void.
This journey of the fat and the furious only intensified as I eventually got into a relationship and realized that hey, he loves my fat ass and no matter how fat it gets he'll still love me. You see, my boyfriend who is now my husband, was a junk-a-holic as well. So, what did our dates primarily consist of but eating in some way, shape or form. Eating at the movies, going to restaurants, eating at the fair, going to parties, cooking together, baking together, EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!!! Gradually, we grew closer and as that closeness increased so did our pants size. But we had love right? Who cares? Wrong. Eventually we were beyond the point of no return. We were spending tons of money on junk food and eating out and like hermits were too ashamed to eat in front of anyone so we spent our evenings cuddled up to a movie gorging. Did we enjoy this? Maybe after the first three bites, but after that it was like we were hypnotized by Mr. Hershey and Mrs. Doritio and all they wanted us to do was to stay in McDonald land. When we came out of our hypnotized state we realized what we had done and simply got angry and shameful and went to bed only to starve ourselves the next day as punishment and redemption. This process continued over the years and got even worse for me when I injured my back. I had three back surgeries all within a six month span. This left me crippled even more. For three years, although I had had surgery, I could not walk the length of myself, could not sit up to the table, could not even take a shower without being in terrible pain. I lived my life like an overweight dog on the floor. I couldn't go anywhere unless I was able to lie down. It was horrible. This coupled with my addiction to food did not mix well together. In fact, it proved to be quite a toxic substance. I slowly got into a funk or depression, whatever you prefer to use. And, what did I do to ease my pain? I ate. I ate when I was happy, I ate when I was sad, I ate when I was celebrating and I ate when I was stressed. I could not escape it. Food was the ultimate choice for any occasion. This left me an overweight slob lying on the floor. My husband and I tried several times to diet and lose weight but as one got a craving it fed the other one's craving. It simply did not work. Until now.
It seemed like an overnight epiphany happened. All of sudden, after endless talks and attempts to loose weight, I woke up one day and said, this is it. I decided no longer would I let pain stand in my way or the almighty power of a Value Meal at Rotten Ronnies. I was going to do this and that was it. I started going to the gym. I was in so much pain but I stuck with it. I started forcing myself to sit up in a chair despite the feeling of multiple stab wounds in my back and the pins and needles in my legs, and I cut back on the junk as much as I possibly could. Eventually, despite the fact that the doctor had told me I could be like this for the next ten years when it came to my back, I got better and better. I was able to get myself back to what one would called a "functional state." I lost weight, about 15lbs or so, just before I went to my brother's wedding. I was able to endure the long plane trip to Winnipeg where before I couldn't sit long enough to urinate without being in pain. I was on the road to recovery. It was fantastic.
After my brother's, wedding I kind of fell off the wagon again and reverted back to my junk-a-holic ways, but when New Years hit and I didn't register on the Wii Fit, I vowed to my little cousin and my aunts that I WILL be able to register in a month. My cousin and I made a date for me to come back and try again and I have not gone back on my commitment since. I started this group as an attempt to help not only others but mostly to help me. You have all helped me stay on track by joining. You see, I have gained the intrinsic motivation to loose weight simply by not wanting to fail you all and not wanting to look like a hypocrite. Thank you. This is the start of a new journey of self discovery for me and although I will always be deemed a junk-a-holic, I hope to one day soon say I am a recovered junk-a-holic.
I am happy to report that as of the date this article was written I have lost a total of 12lbs and I am sure inches. I go to the gym everyday faithfully and if I miss a day I watch what I eat that day more carefully and am sure to do some physical activity at some point during the day. I attend healthy weight management classes and I am the creator of this group. I live by Canada's Food Guide now and most importantly, I lived up to the promise I made to my cousin and aunts. I registered on Wii Fit and had a Wii Fit age of 30!!! This can only get better because I won't let myself go back, ever, ever again.
Thanks for reading the Confessions of a Junk-a-Holic! I hope you can relate in some way and that it inspires you to keep going. We can do it!
Kerri-Leigh Ivany-Pittman (written January 30th/09)
UPDATE (FEB. 23/10)
Since this article both my husband and I are still changing our lives forever. We sweat ourselves crazy at the gym, I hired a personal trainer who has been fabulous in all areas, we are eating the right foods and in one year I have lost 103 lbs and my husband has lost a whopping 207 lbs! That's a total of 310 lbs between the both of us. Together we did it and together we will keep it off because at the end of the day this is for us and no one else will benefit more.
