25 Tips for Surviving Winter in N.L.
A somewhat tongue-in-cheek approach because, hey, you gotta have a sense of humour to survive our winters!
1) No matter how much money you spend on winter boots, youll still need to wear grocery bags over your socks to keep your feet dry inside them.
2) Stock up on Vienna sausages, beans and anything that can be eaten cold out of the can, for those long winter nights when the powers out.
3) Invest in a generator to power the important things
like your laptop.
4) Keep a shovel inside the porch, so you can shovel your way out of the house.
5) Keep extra kitty litter on hand so Fluffy still has a place to go after youve dumped a full bag of her litter on the icy driveway.
6) Pick out a winter coat thats three sizes too big allowing enough room for several wool sweaters to fit underneath.
7) Watch the forecast every evening and prepare for the exact opposite.
8) Never shovel into the wind. Do it once and find out why.
9) Stock up on DVDs to watch on the many nights when a single, sticky snowflake will put your satellite dish out of commission.
10) Love thy neighbour
who has a snow blower.
11) Get up early enough to shovel the driveway twice: Once before the plow comes, and once after it leaves.
12) Pedestrians in St. Johns should invest in sturdy rope and a professional belayer, to safely traverse the giant snow banks where once there were sidewalks.
13) Have four MATCHING winter tires. (Not one winter, two all-season and one random one you found in your garage.)
14) Never pull out to pass a long line of slow-moving traffic during a storm because at the front of that line is probably a police car.
15) Never pass a snow plow during a storm. IT HAS A PLOW. Why would you want to go first?
16) Invite your mother-in-law to stay with you during the winter. Youll need her to babysit your kids when school is closed every other day.
17) Before winter sets in, master the crab walk. When the ground is a glistening sheet of ice, its the only way youre getting from your front door to your car.
18) Store bags of sand in the back of your truck not for sprinkling on slippery sections, but for ballast, to keep your pickup from sliding all over the road.
19) In advance of the first snowfall, drive (at minimum) six-foot-high brightly coloured stakes into the ground at the bottom of your driveway, so once snow falls youll know where it ends.
20) Invest in good rubber car mats. Placed under tires while spinning on an icy patch, they make for great traction.
21) Keep wet wipes in your car for days when road salt is so caked onto your headlights, you cant tell if theyre on or off.
22) Consider investing in a therapy lamp to brighten your winter days dont wait for the sun to do it.
23) Visit the oldest, dustiest electronics aisle in any department store and pick up a CORDED phone. This outdated device may be your only line of communication to the outside world when the powers out and your cell phones dead.
24) Purchase a car charger for your cell phone. You may need it to call a tow truck from one of our famous highway drifts.
25) Only purchase two-piece snowsuits for your youngsters; urgency to go potty is much greater when clothing removal is more difficult.