The Sport of Shopping
Monday, December 19, 2011
Well people, weve almost made it. Five sleeps until Christmas Eve; the home stretch is here. Its time to double check our lists and take on the final scurry of gift shopping. The stores once decorated with tinsel and shelves lined with decorations now bare bits and pieces of broken décor, squished chocolates, torn tissue paper, and empty Tim Hortons cups. Ahh, the joys of the holidays.
If you really think about, Christmas shopping should be considered a professional sport. Like the best athletes, shoppers undergo a rigorous training process in order to efficiently and successful conquer the holiday shopping season.
Athletes eat well and load on carbohydrates; they exercise and build stamina, and most importantly must train their mind. They possess the will power, the drive and the sheer will to succeed. Think about it. The Christmas shopper requires the exact same motivation and conviction.
First you identify who requires a gift and what youre going to purchase for them. Second, always dress appropriately: Layered, breathable clothing that can easily be removed in the event of a hot flash or sudden spike in blood pressure. Third, time and plan your route. Early morning shopping, plus a transit route that allows you to follow the flow of traffic - avoiding all left turns. Then, finally, hydration; always have water on your person. Staying hydrated will keep you lucid while making your way through bewildered crowds and dangerous parking lots. Stay on your toes.
The holiday shopper, like a well-trained athlete, is a fine-tuned, well-oiled machine! From now until Saturday they will face challenges that test their will power, their perseverance, and the backbone of their mental stability. Prepare well, my friends, because just as the joys of Christmas bring smiles to children, so too can finished Christmas shopping bring elation (and sweet, sweet relief) to a champion shopper.
I leave you with a little poem, and the warmest of holiday wishes.
Six days before Christmas and all through the city,
shoppers hustled and bustled with very little pity.
They grunted and growled as they scurried about,
bearing nothing but sarcasm and a grumpy old pout.
Store parking lots rang with the sounds of cheer,
which were more like the rantings of too many beer!
Watch your step, Look out, Hey Misses outta the way,
the drivers they hollered at those in the way.
The children smiled for pictures with Santa at the mall,
as dainty little snowflakes gracefully did fall.
The dresses, the pigtails, the boys with argyle vests;
gave warm fuzzy feelings to even the coldest chest.
The mothers they shopped with their lists in hand,
as husbands searched frantic for somewhere to stand.
Then with a twinkle, without a sush or a word,
the shoppers perked their heads to the sound that they heard.
A single voice ringing loud and clear,
as it was joined by many from far and near.
It was Handels Messiah, the voices did sing,
Praising the lord, to our king of kings.
It was here that the smiles shone bright through the crowd
as harmonious Hallelujahs! chimed victorious and loud.
Five glorious minutes the people did stop,
with the beauty of Christmas warming their hearts.
If you havent seen it yet, check out this video of a "flash mob" taking over the Avalon Mall. It's said we should take time to smell the flowers; so, maybe through the busy season, we should take the time to listen, reminding of us what Christmas is truly all about.