Thursday, November 18, 2010
Midnight Madness, 20% off Day, Mall Madness - whatever you call it...our yearly 20% off at the mall in St. John's should be accompanied with the following fine print, participate at your own risk side-effects may include (but are not limited to) aggressive and rude behaviour, sporadic mental confusion, unexplained adrenaline rushes, and excessive spending due to retail pandemonium."
No survival guides issued here people! This was an outright test of patience and efficiency! With flyers and lists in hand, shoppers filled the mall parking lot ready to save that 20%. The normally fluid entrances and exits were now bottlenecked, narrowed and blocked by crazed drivers determined to get that perfect spot. I had my day planned: gym (which is in the same lot), quick run in and out of the mall, head down East to Costco. Silly woman! Twenty minutes to travel 75 meters should have been my first clue that the day was not going to go as planned.
By 9:00 a.m. I had my workout complete, 9:25 had made it out of the stores with my purchases. Then, I sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes or more, I stopped counting. Inching along, trying to make my way to a coffee, I watched people honk, gesture (not always politely), and occasionally wave thanks as one lonely soul directed traffic. (For those of you familiar with this parking lot, it is similar to a 3-way stop, the difference being only one of the three actually stop).
Wearing his reflective vest, the traffic guy used a lit wand to direct the droves of vehicles trying to get in and out of the parking lot. His free hand motioning this way, stop¸ now, your turn, stop, Whoa! Whoa! I didnt tell you to go! I thought, Youre going to need that wand for more than directing traffic before the day's out, buddy!
Twenty-five minutes and 75 meters later I was free and travelling on the main thoroughfare! Then I realized it was everywhere! The Toys R Us store (with possibly the WORST designed parking lot in the city) looked as if it was going to bust at the seams! Cars scooted in and out of the lots in a chaotic blur. I thought as I travelled east it was going to improve, but no! It was just more mayhem in every direction. I painfully made my way through Stavanger Drive - another traffic flow nightmare and parked within a reasonable kilometre of Costco. I plunged into Costco with conviction and purpose! At one point Im sure had I lifted my feet off the ground, the momentum of the people around me would have carried me along. Where did all these people come from? Seriously!
Mall Madness had trickled into the surrounding veins of the city. There was no relief...just endless register line-ups, crazed shoppers, and my coffee. Organized chaos with a sprinkle of, I must be crazy for being here, finally led me back to the safety of my van! Cheese, milk, bread....all tossed in the back! Once in the drivers seat I could only laugh! A laugh of relief, absurdity, and good grief how am I getting home?!
In the end, I made it home (and without incident). After a quick conference call with the girls, we came to two conclusions. One, we would not be leaving the safety of our cul-de-sac (for any reason) until Mall Madness had ended. Two, next year organizers, or perhaps, City Officials should issue, I survived Mall Madness t-shirts and buttons!
*other side-effects may include, high blood pressure, chest pains, blurred vision, reduced motor function...If at any time you experience one or more symptoms... well...GOOD LUCK!
Tis the season - happy shopping!
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About Me...Mommy Jingles
I have a wonderful husband, three adorable children, drive a mini-van (what else are we all fitting into), love a good chick-flick and live on an awesome street. I am not a morning person nor will I ever be. I love being a night owl, yet strongly regret it in the morning when the pitter-patter of little feet stampede through the hall. Repeatedly! The fact my kids make it to school on time still amazes me. Hence, an outlet, refuge and sanctuary had to be found...Mommy Jingles is born. Thoughts, rantings, trials and successes from a mother, wife, friend, and an occasionally "I'm gonna loose it" woman!